Trace

My fingers aren’t green
They’re black as death and
Death comes at the best
Of times — it takes the best
Of me and leaves no trace
Nothing left of you but
What is left of me

Fault

I face my failing, sucks
My confidence down
The drain, falling
Never to be sure again
I will stay on, stay in
To stay
Out of trouble, never
Be in your way, I’ll be
Nobody to you

The morning after

Mouth dry, brain
Dead — the morning
After we found
Everything unraveled
Dread — the look
In your eye, the
Taste in my mouth

— and then I laugh

Recent poems

Posted some on Twitter.

my buzz
it's going
i feel
good

— Twan (@toonvanelk) October 19, 2021

my love, my life, my warrior
as we
arm up, get ready
and you
jump
into the fray and
slay, then
fall back, hold
your hands
over my foul soul, breathe
new life into me
for us
to fight once more

(for @nurivanelk)

— Twan (@toonvanelk) October 19, 2021

Everything is weird,
Tired and broken
I want this day
To not exist, I
Want to be
Not here
End it
Now

— Twan (@toonvanelk) October 22, 2021

Drown in
Water deep
Silence the beat
Sound
Carries farther
When nobody
Listens

— Twan (@toonvanelk) October 22, 2021

Wake up

listening to the morning sounds
my head still pillow-dented

i wake up with these words already
waiting, while the acid burns my stomach

unmade coffee, smell wafting up the stairs
this day is gonna suck

My bed, a ship in the middle of a sea of darkness
The ice, cracking on my blanket and
The monsters, circling on the floor

As I held on to the bars, I got a hold of the
Woolly Clown and fought them off till
Daylight came and they withdrew into the shadows

Off

The sun reaches her arm around and
Pulls in another day
I throw off last night, crack my neck
And drag my bag to my car

The music can’ t speed up the slow
The lines don’t line up just yet
The door seems stuck
When I don’t know how I got here

Here I go

My Song

I lash out, yet I’m no better
I am less than what you know
You must fear me, hate me, loath me
For I do love you, love you all

I don’t need this, I can’t take it,
Take it with me, take you down
So I will leave you, I will go now
Hold my hand and then let go

Anthropomorphic

Form is not what I consider
My mouth holds words that
I can’t chew, while
Molars hurt and tongue
Is tied, my gut feels weird,
Feels colors true

Drop the act, you cannot
See me, as I am nor
As I’ll be, your
Dream is one that I can’t
Share, I am not real, I
Am not me

Spectrum

It is hard
Navigating this world
Find a home
Be the odd one out
Be present, be
Seen
Do I exist
When I’m not there?